feeling good

I am feeling good today. I am puzzled that I feel so good today, when other days go so badly. Yesterday, for example, was a growly day, my tongure was red from the biting. Yet things did not go so mmuch better today, the two year old still whined and tantrumed, the paper mache didn't set, the rain bucketed down again. It should have been a tough day, but it wasn't and I winder why.

If it is not outside things going wrong that makes a day a bad one, it must be us. I am having a good day because I am feeling good. I am feeling in control and able for the tantrums and mushy paper. Maybe i'm more rested, (I am still tired, I will always be tired, I have two under two), maybe it's the extra glass of water I drank. I've gone back off wheat bread, maybe its that. Could it be my hormones? So many possibilities.

I'm not sure it's any of those things, any more then it's the weather, or the tahtrums, or waking up late or early. I suspect it all boils down to energy (everything does in the end.) I had fun paper mache-ing with my son last night, and went to bed in good form. I had nice dreams, about my wedding dress, and woke up feeling good in myself, and I think that energy has followed me through the day and all the things that have happened.

The trick would be to find a way to turn that energy on when you wake up feeling like a snot dripping down someone elses nose. When I am in buzzy happy energy, I can see my son's smile, not his smelly bum. I can go 'yippee' when Rosy finally sleeps and enjoy the quiet, be refreshed when she wakes, rather then going, 'whew' and sit like a zombie dreading the moment she cries. It's the energy that drives the focus and keeps the energy going. The trick is to get that energy, or focus in the first place. The self helpers all push you to move the focus, see only the good stuff, 'excentuate the positive, eliminate the negative,'. I think there should be a way to change the energy first. And it should be easy. It is so easy to give some one a boost, a kiss or hug or compliment. A word of acknowledgement to my hubby from his boss keeps him going for weeks. We should be able to do the same to ourselves, give ourselves a boost and change the energy. When I figure out how I'll let you know.